Ever wake up the morning after and realize you’ve overslept?
If you’re late for your own funeral, you might be spooked...
This is not really a transcript - this is the working script that the actors used to record, so there's a little improv involved! W is wife, H is husband, FD is fire department
Ever wake up the mourning after and realize you’ve overslept? If you’re late for your own funeral, you might be spooked
W - Yawn..... Oh shit. Honey, Wake Up! We overslept!
H - (groggy) What? What time is it?
W - Well, the sun is up, and we were supposed to be out the door by 6:30 to beat the morning traffic...
H - Oh man, I’ve got such a hangover.... You... you wanna use the shower first?
W - Yeah, OK, I’ll go first.
Sounds of feet landing on wet floor
W - oh... (slowly) The floor… it's wet. Was there a leak?
H - Wet? Where?
several wet footsteps
W - It's wet *everywhere*. The whole bedroom is wet.
Bathroom door opens on left
H - Everywhere? Aw, man....
W - Hon, can you open the curtains?
H - What the... babe, come have a look at this
W - Woah. Why are all those people on the pavement staring at our apartment?
H - No idea. Are they looking at our apartment or the one above? (fire truck honk) Hey, there’s a fire engine downstairs.
W - Honey, behind the tall guy in the yellow jacket. I haven’t got my glasses, is that your Mum?
H - Yeah, why is she here?
W - I thought she was coming in the evening to feed Mr. Fluffy
H - Yep, she’s supposed to come tonight. Why is she crying?
(Distant door close)
W - (urgent whisper) Was that the front door? Is there someone in our house?
Sound of footsteps, radio chatter. Door opens. Garbled radio noise. Firefighter enters bedroom.
H - (agitated) Hey, who the fuck are you?
W - Hon, he’s a firefighter. Excuse me, sir, our bedroom is soaked, did you put out a fire in the unit above us? Cos it’s gonna cost hundreds to replace this flooring!
Garbled radio chatter continues
H - Hey. Asshole. Don’t ignore us...
FD - Yeah, Chief, we’re certain the fire started in the bedroom. Might have been a cigarette, maybe a joint... (garbled noise) I see 5 red bulls and two absoluts on the dressing table (garbled) they were probably extremely drunk and were overcome by the smoke...
W - What is he on about?
FD - Yeah, paramedics pronounced them on the scene. They’re should be at the morgue by now and the official autopsies should be out late afternoon. The verdict? death by misadventure, it’s pretty obvious.
H - Babe, I think we’re dead.